So without rehashing the past & how I let this blog slip by the wayside, let's just focus on the fact that I'm back.
We went on vacation last week & I was talking to my girlfriend & she was reminding me of how I used to blog & it was good & she enjoyed reading it. I also realized on vacation just how badly I'd needed a vacation. A break, a time to take a breath. And after some thought, I remembered how this blog was very helpful as an outlet for me & lately I probably need this outlet more than ever. So...I'm back. We're going back to this not just being for family updates, but for me sharing whatever the heck I feel like talking about that day. And of course I'll include way too many pictures of my ridiculously cute children. But life lately is pulling me in so many different directions, I need a place to just talk about my own feelings & stress & joys, and and and...
So, with that said I'll be blogging more now. I don't want to dedicate myself to a certain amount/week because then this becomes yet another obligation in my life. But for my own sanity I am going to try to blog more often.
And what is on my mind today? Parenting styles. I've been thinking about this a lot over the past week. We went on a road trip/family vacation & had 1 family stay with us for a few days at the beginning of our vacation, and a different family come at the end. All of us have 2 young kids. All of us parent differently. It got me to thinking - about all of our parenting styles & then what the children are like. And what is the actual child vs. the parenting.
After observing 2 completely different families the past week, both of them who do things differently than my own, I've come to a bottom line conclusion: Families do what works best for them.
We all have different family dynamics, different strengths & weaknesses as parents. Also, what works in one family isn't always what works for another. Just like my own children are different (one goes to bed early & wakes up early, the other goes to bed late & sleeps in), as parents we can be just as different and you know what? It's not wrong. God chooses our children for us for a reason. We all love our children. Most of us love our husbands (ha!), and at the end of the day we're all doing the best we can.
So then why do moms tend to judge each other? I hear so often about one mother judging another because she gives her child an oreo & the other mother wouldn't dare give her child anything with sugar, especially if it's not organic! GASP! Who cares? It's not your child. Each parent has to choose their battles, chooses what is important to them when raising their family. Some moms put kids first, some put their husbands first, some find a balance & a way to give each priority at different times of the day. We all do our best to survive & raise our children to be decent humans. None of us are perfect. And I guarantee you the biggest critic of any mother is herself.
As moms and as women I feel like we should give each other a bit of a break. Some grace. Mothers of babies & toddlers are scrutinized so heavily. Why are we then so hard on each other? Aren't we all in the same boat? Fighting the same fight? The fight for sleep, for identity, for the attraction of our husbands? As long as the child's needs & safety are being taken care of I say let's all just give each other a break.
On our drive home yesterday Brooklyn threw up...well, it was like a movie. It was projectile vomit. A mixture of McDonald's (yes, I gave my kids happy meals), milk, goldfish crackers, and apples. It was horrid! We were driving down the highway 5 hours in to a road trip that should have taken 3.5 hours (traffic!!) and she gagged on a cracker & puked, and just when I thought she was done, she puked more. It was a river of puke. All in her carseat, projectiled onto the back of Brandon's seat...his head. We pulled over off the highway on some random residential street. I held my breath & plunged my fingers through the stinky gew to unlatch her carseat & took her to the side of the car to get her cleaned up. She reached for a beef jerkey stick & I reacted by throwing it out of her reach. You know what happened just then? A shirtless man holding a can of beer came & yelled at me for littering in his yard! He said "I don't come to Bellevue & throw trash on the ground. I appreciate you not doing it here." You know what offended me the most? The fact that he thought of me as a "Bellevue Mom". I realize then that makes me just as guilty of judging other moms. Other moms I'm sure would be thinking "well that's what happens when you give a kid mcdonalds on a road trip!" I went off on a tangent there, but my point is that we should maybe stop having such an issue with how others parent. Even if I was from Bellevue, would that make it any less sucky to have a puke-drenched kid on the side of the highway? With nothing but baby wipes & half a bottled water to clean her off with? Maybe he could have offered me a washrag, or a trash bag for my "litter" (which by the way I had no intention of leaving anything in his yard).
I screw up all.the.time. as a mom. Guess what? I'm well aware of it. I really don't need anyone else pointing it out. I give my kids juice, I let them watch more TV than I would like, I let them eat hot dogs, I don't set a bedtime for Abigail when she's on vacation, and sometimes at home just cause I'm too exhausted to deal with it. One time, I sent Abby to bed with the ipad & a corndog. True story. I went to check on her when I went to bed that evening & a half eaten corndog was laying on her chest. I'm not proud of it. In fact that was one of my parenting lows. But shit happens.
If a mom does things a certain way, it's because that's what works for her family. Want to push any mom's button? Give her unsolicited parenting advice. Her kid may wake up 10 times/night and nurse at 3 years old, but unless she has a problem with it & is asking how she can change it - don't insert your opinions or advice.
Well, I suppose that's all I have time for today. I'll post about our vacation later. Happy Monday!
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