Clean up on aisle 8 - my head just exploded!

Wow! wow, wow, wow, wow. I'm so extremely mad right now. I have to write about this article I read, because if I don't vent somewhere, I'm sure that my head will literally explode. Either that, or I'll yell at the first person to walk thru the door. And I like my UPS man, so instead I will write.

The Rabbi, from Shalom in the Home wrote an article about breastfeeding & its adverse effects on a marriage.

And I quote:
"...I make the point that infidelity is primarily a sin of omission rather than commission. It is not the bad thing you do that destroys a marriage, but all the good that you fail to do, preoccupied as you are with a sinful relationship that diverts your attention away from your spouse. Similarly, with the example of breast-feeding, a wife who spends a year giving all her emotional and physical affection to the baby has left her marriage a barren wasteland, bereft of romance and affection. "

Oh really, Mr. Rabbi? So how does being a good mother automatically make me a bad wife? Last time I checked, breastfeeding did not require ALL of my emotional affection. But maybe I have an exceptional capacity to emote? Anyway, I am pretty sure my husband would beg to differ with Mr. Rabbi! This is like saying if you have 2 children, you are obviously neglecting one of them & will ruin that relationship as well. Women are actually capable of multi-tasking & have an abundant capacity to love.

"I told the mother that in being so devoted to her son, she had committed the cardinal sin of marriage, which is to put someone else before her spouse, even if that someone is your child. Furthermore, I said, her obsession had turned one of her most attractive body parts into a feeding station, an attractive cafeteria rather than a scintillating piece of flesh. "

MEH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so mad right now I could scream!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How is FEEDING your child, as intended by God & nature an "obsession" and a "sin"? And I'm not even going to go there about breastfeeding making a woman less attractive. That's just flat out a false statement. In fact, I think some husbands would agrue the opposite.


and he goes on:
"I am surprised that when scientists discuss all the benefits of breast-feeding, they neglect its most negative consequence. If breast-feeding gets in the way of the marriage—if it means that a husband and wife never go out on dates, or that the mother is so tired from always waking up with the baby that she has no energy to ever be intimate with her husband—the child will probably end up worse off, however many colds or bouts with diarrhea he now avoids. "

Seriously!?!?!?!? So we are supposed to sacrifice the health of our child so that we can go to more movies with our husbands?

I am far from being a feminist. I have very traditional values & we have traditional roles in our home, even though I work full time, I make sure to cook & take care of my family - that INCLUDES my husband! And we do go on dates. Excuse me, Mr. Rabbi - but there's this super cool thing called a breastpump. Women who breastfeed are capable of living their lives just as conveniently as women who bottle feed. I don't think I'd be paying my husband any more attention if I was giving Abby a bottle instead of my nipple. And the fact is - yes, a baby who depends solely on its parents for everything does deserve to be priority #1 for a while.

And while I do agree that a woman shouldn't have a baby, then give the baby everything she has & completely ignore her husband & marriage, I don't think, in that case, breastfeeding is the problem. I think each family has to find a way to balance things in their own way. It's a team effort & this article is moronic. There are so many health benefits to breastfeeding for mother & baby - and sacrificing the child and the mother's health for a few extra romps in the sack, or a Sunday matinee is just as much a sin as divorce.

In my personal opinion, if you are neglecting your marriage, and if you are taking on a parenting style that is detrimental to your marriage, you should have open communication with your spouse about it & find something that works. That is the problem - NOT breastfeeding. Breastfeeding should not be an excuse for neglecting your marriage. Breastfeeding does not a neglected marriage make.

I could probably go on & on & on & on, but I do have work to do today. Sigh, I just had to go off for a minute so that I could say my piece & be done with it.