Moody Monday

Warning: this is a bummer post.

A combination of me getting a grand total of 4 hours sleep last night, and it being the first day of summer with the weather forecast for today being: "a high of 61 degrees & rainy" - then pile on me feeling like I've been "bad" at my job (maybe not bad, but not great either), being chronically late the past week, Abigail either getting a tooth or a cold, oh and I'm BROKE :( Not like can't pay the mortgage broke, but no, we can't plan any vacations or do anything fun broke.

I feel kind of depressed. Like I'm in a funk & need something drastic to pull me out of it. Abigail woke up at 11:30 last night & was WIDE awake. It took us both trying for over 2 hours to finally get her to fall back asleep. Still, after that she woke up & stirred about every hour. I really, really hope this doesn't de-rail our sleep training. We were so enjoying our consistent bedtime routine with limited wakings at night! Why is it as soon as we get comfortable with a pattern, Abigail says, "Bwahahahha! Joke's on you, suckas!!?"

Now that I am writing this down, it's making more sense to me why I'm so blah today. Last week, Brandon told me that we have to cancel our September vacation. We JUST purchased a timeshare (like the check hasn't even been cashed) in Lake Chelan & already we're having to cancel our plans to go - because he has to go to TN for business that week. Which he says we'll just 'bank' that week & go to Hawaii, but then I look at my bank account & am not so optimistic.

Plus then that makes me think of my pasty white behind in a bathing suit & let's just say that after a month of kicking my own butt at the gym & training for a half marathon, I've GAINED 2 pounds. What the...!?

Speaking of the half marathon, it's coming up this weekend! I've been training for this a while & have a lot to prove to myself. The last 1/2 marathon I ran was sort of a disaster (long story) and so I've been looking forward to doing another one to replace that memory of my last race. Then I got pregnant, so it's even more important for me to show that I can still do things that I did before baby. Anyway, I was really looking forward to it. I bought a brand new Lulu running tank & shorts just for the occassion. I was SO looking forward to a summer race - in the sun, running along the water in Seattle. And now what? The weather forecast for Saturday says: High of 66 with rain. Not only that, but my BFF who is running this race with me, probably will bail if it's raining. She flies in from Mexico (lucky B! I want to be in Mexico right now!) at 1am the morning of the race, and she's pretty fit & knows she can just do the next race if she misses this one. So likely, I'll be running in the rain, alone! Boo!!

I'm in a funk today. It's one of those days when I wish we could just sell everything we own and move across the country. Just us - Brandon, Abigail & myself. Our little family - starting all over. Life's so crazy and busy and stressful. All I want is to snuggle up with my husband & baby under some blankets & turn the world off for one day. Today specifically.

Anyway, that's not reality, so I will go back to work & try to prove to myself that I don't suck at my job. Then I will pick up my snotty (literally) baby from daycare, cook dinner, do laundry, try to fix our wireless router, blah blah blah & start all over tomorrow. Hopefully I get more sleep tonight & it results in a happier Meg tomorrow.